love//hate

i hate feelings
i hate caring
i love showing people i care
i hate being considered a kid
i hate being considered an adult
i love the sun and warmth
i love the cold and rain
i hate seeing people be fake
i love seeing people be real
i hate being tired every morning
i hate the process of going to sleep
i hate always being the listener
i love being listened to
i hate when people stare
i hate fake laughs
i love real smiles
i love laughing and making people laugh
i hate being laughed at
i hate the unknown
i love curiosity
i hate being a minority
i love being a minority
i love food
i love being healthy

THE REVEAL: If you really knew me

if you really knew me, you'd know that i am constantly comparing myself to others by the second. you would know that i am insecure about my voice. you would know that i am 5'11. you would know that i have more guy friends than girl friends yet i am still single. you would know that no matter the situation if you were ever in my life at some point i would still do anything for you. you would know that i was in the ICU for a month after i was born. you would know that i hate that i moved here and that i miss the beach. you would know that i have 30+ hats. you would know that i love cars. you would know that every person in my family except for my mom and i have struggled with pornography. you would know that i quit basketball last year because of the girls and coach from the previous year. that i only wear the colors i feel. you'd know that i don't curl my eyelashes. that "in da club" by 50 cent was my favorite song at 8 years old. the same age i was when i was baptised into the lds church. that i hate capitalizing words. you'd know that smiling and laughing are my favorite things to do. and most of all you'd know that i am: Kyra Danielle Evans. wuss good errybody✌

I ain't never scared

I'm scared of heights. I'm scared of people not liking me. I'm scared of never being loved. Not being good enough. Not being worth it. Not being succesful. Not being a good wife or mother. I'm scared of money, having too much or not having enough. As of right now, scared of not walking with my class at graduation. Scared of not being truly happy. Scared of bugs. Scared of clowns. Scared of falling. But maybe I wouldn't be so scared to fall if I was guarenteed someone being there to catch me. Because what's the point to risk falling if you can't get back up? Sometimes you can't control if you fall or not. That's when it's scary because you don't know who or when someone will step in. I'm afraid of the dark. I'm afraid of being home alone. But I guess that just really means I'm scared that I'm not alone. I'm afraid of what the world has to offer and what it doesn't. I'm afraid of being to vulnerable, but I'm afraid of being too conservative. I'm afraid of being taken advantage of. But, I ain't never scared.

I'm not a robot because if I were, I would be able to tell my heart to shut up and it would listen

they say I'll implode if i don't speak my thoughts, but i feel fine.  i don't want my thoughts known in general. who are you to decide what's left unsaid?¿

haViNg a MiNdseT oF CuriOuSitY